The science behind happy relationships
Most of us have a laid-back attitude when it comes to relationships. We get excited about the early stages of love, but as we move towards the normal grinding of everyday life, personal belongings begin to creep in and cause us to hurt feelings, emotional outflows, growing conflicts, and inadequate competition. Can find themselves shaking. Technique, and just simple boredom. There is no denying this: it is difficult to have a happy and healthy relationship.
But a growing field of relationship research is providing increasingly healthy, happy couple's habits - and scientific guidance on how to improve any struggling relationship. As we have learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to basic lessons that are easy, clear, and difficult to master at the same time: empathy, positivity, and strong emotional connection lead to the happiest and healthiest relationship. ۔
Maintaining a strong emotional connection
"The most important thing we've learned, what has been prominent in all developmental psychology, social psychology, and in our lab work over the last 35 years, is the secret to loving relationships and keeping them strong and dynamic. Secret years, falling in love, is a recurring, emotional response, "says Xu Johnson, a medical psychologist in Ottawa and author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Life.
This response is, in short, about sending a signal and replying to the other person. "Love has 99 99 million questions, 'Are you for me?' "It's not just, 'Are you my friend and will you help me with things?' It's about emotional harmony and getting involved. "
"Every couple has differences," Johnson continued. "What makes couples unhappy is when their emotional connection is cut off and they can't feel safe or secure with that person." She notes that criticism and rejection - often met with defense and rejection - are extremely painful, and something that our brains interpret as a dangerous signal.
To promote emotional responses between partners, Johnson initiated emotionally focused therapy, in which couples learn to bond through expressions of need and avoidance of criticism. "Couples need to learn how to talk about emotions in ways that bring the other person closer," says Johnson.
Keep things positive
According to Carrie Cole, director of research at the Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to marriage research, an emotional breakdown can easily occur in any relationship when the couple is not doing something that creates positivity. "When that happens, people feel like they're moving on until they know each other," says Cole. The reason for focusing on positivity is that the Gottman Institute has adopted the slogan "often small things." The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and the research encourages the institute's psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, normal contact that demonstrates appreciation. ۔
Cole says the easiest place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner on a daily basis - whether he or she is praising or telling you about something, in particular, you What do you like about them? This exercise can achieve two benefits: First, it reassures your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person first.
When it comes to brains and love, Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and senior fellow at the Kansi Institute - after putting people into brain scanners - found that they contain three essential neurochemical components that make up high relationships. Report satisfaction: Practicing empathy, controlling your emotions and stress, and maintaining positive thoughts about your partner.
In a happy relationship, partners try to empathize with each other and constantly try to be right instead of understanding each other's point of view. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: "Keep your mouth shut and don't work," says Fisher. If you can't save yourself from going crazy, take a break by going to the gym, reading a book, playing with a dog, or calling a friend - anything to get out of the destructive path. Having positive thoughts about your partner, which Fisher calls a "positive illusion," is all about reducing the amount of time you spend on the negative aspects of your relationship. "No partner is perfect, and the brain is ready to remember the dirty things that were said," says Fisher. "But if you can ignore these things and just focus on what's important, it's good for the body, good for the mind, and good for relationships."
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